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Random Musings from Wrigley Field's Upper Deck

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Crybaby Reds fans on the loose...

Here's the response to my last post - this from a 39-year-old unemployed man:

"Always knew that you Cubs fans were losers. In fact you're an even bigger group of losers than your pathetic excuse for a team is. Now go and cry in the glorified beer garden known as Wrigley Field."

I have trouble taking anything seriously that's written by someone 10 years older than I am and that sounds like it came out of the mouth of a kindergartener. Check out the guy's website - he has a serious inferiority complex, given that there are more comments about how the Cubs suck than there are about how great the Reds are. This is a real problem I find with fans of other teams. Cubs fans are high on the Cubs, low on the Cubs, engage in cogent analysis of opposing teams, root for their team, and only hope that other teams in their division lose because it helps the Cubs reach the playoffs, not because they are filled with abiding hatred for them.

There may be fans like this who follow other teams. I suspect there is a large cohort of them in Boston, and there are probably a few in most cities. However, the vast majority of fans of other teams seem to be unable to do anything other than spew venom in the direction of opposing fans. Until now, I thought this was restricted mostly to White Sox fans, who don't really care at all about their team, as long as the Cubs lose. Now this asshole comes along and changes my whole opinion of the Queen City, which I've always thought of as a pretty nice (if somewhat slow) place.

As to the substance of the post that triggered Mr. Rector's stream of vitriol, I'd just like to see how he (or any other actual baseball fan, by which I mean someone who actually roots for a team, rather than only against one) would react when his team had nine players on the DL. Especially if those players were, let's say, Cory Lidle, Paul Wilson, Ken Griffey, Jr., D'Angelo Jimenez, Barry Larkin, Phil Norton, Ryan Freel, Ryan Wagner, and Brian Reith. Those are the closest guys on the Reds roster to the people who currently inhabit the Cubs DL. I think it pretty much goes without saying that the Reds would absolutely crash and burn if those guys all went down at once, and it's not too much of a stretch to believe that the Cubs' chances of success this year are slim if the disabled list remains steady. But I'm sorry to have offended anyone.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

1985 Redux...

I'm officially giving up on the season, as of today. Todd Wellemeyer is headed to the DL, giving the Cubs eight players out sick or injured, which ties the club record set in 1985. We all remember how much of a disappointment that year was, thanks to injuries, and this year is inevitably going down precisely the same path. Now it appears that the Cubs will break the record, since Tom Goodwin is hurt and will probably be placed on the DL himself. If Jim Hendry doesn't make about half a dozen trades within the next day or two, the Cubs may as well forfeit the rest of their schedule for the year, because they don't have a snowball's chance in hell of making the playoffs, or even of having a winning record with the disabled list growing daily.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I'm sick and tired of stupid, lazy people...

Here's the thing: I've worked very hard my whole life, gotten top grades at some of the top schools, studied subjects that are supposed to be attractive to employers, participated in the right activities, and worked in some wonderful jobs. Despite that, I've always had trouble landing a job. What does this mean? Simply this - when someone is hired for a job, we know to an absolute certainty that they are capable of doing it. We know this because extremely well-qualified people like me are constantly turned away. If there are too few jobs for people who can do them, there certainly aren't any jobs for incompetent bastards.

So WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DO THEIR JOBS? The only possible conclusion - they clearly CAN do their jobs, but they choose not to. I don't know why. Maybe it's because everyone's out to get me, but I doubt it - I'm not that important. It must be because they're lazy.

Here's my shit list just for today:
1. The lady shopping in Office Max, where I just wanted to get some pens so I can take an upcoming final exam. This moron wanted the clerk to scan every item and tell her what the price of the item was, along with the price of every conceivable permutation of the 30-odd items she had in her basket. JUST READ THE SHELF TAGS, YOU LAZY OLD BAG! You'll find them most helpful for things like determining the price of items you'd like to buy. More to the point, you won't force me and everyone behind you in line to stand there for twenty minutes while you decide what you can afford. Granted, if you're unable or unwilling to do the math yourself, it probably explains why you need to worry about whether you can afford six file folders or only five. Just do us all a favor and put a bullet in your head, you worthless waste of space.

2. The idiots at the Taco Bell drive-thru (note "correct" illiterate spelling). Normally, I avoid fast food, particularly Taco Bell, but we couldn't decide on anything and thought that going through their drive-through would be fast and cheap and would allow us to get home and resume studying. Nope. I ordered five identical items and checked one to make sure it was made correctly (having had my problems with drive-through cretins in the past). It was. Then I got home and discovered that all of the other four were made wrong, causing me to go back and very nearly smear four steak soft tacos' worth of "lime sauce" in the face of the manager. If you can't understand simple instructions when customers order their food, maybe you should try a different line of work, such as finishing high school or returning to whatever godforsaken country it was that kicked your worthless ass onto our doorstep.

3. UPS. Generally, I have only good things to say about UPS. They're worlds better in terms of reasonable customer service than FedEx. Still, this blows my mind. I was here all afternoon, studying, and the doorbell never rang. Nonetheless, a delivery notice showed up on my front door during the time I was home, saying that they tried to deliver a package and received no response. I sympathize with delivery drivers, since they're overworked and probably underpaid, they have to climb up and down stairs to every house they deliver to, and they have to face the angry customers present in any customer service job. Still, if you don't want to do the job, then don't do it. Quit and find another job or hurl yourself onto the expressway - don't do a half-assed cover job and pretend to do what you're supposed to do. Here's the thing: this can't even be explained through laziness, since the delivery driver had to park his truck, walk through our gate, walk up the stairs, and go through the front door just to leave the notice. Note that THIS IS THE HARD PART. At that point, all the guy had to do was actually ring the bell and then stand there while I ran down the stairs and relieved him of his burden. But no - out of sheer spite, the guy decided just to leave a note saying that he'd be back tomorrow when I won't be here, and my wife, still recovering from a broken leg, will have to walk down three flights of stairs to get the package instead.

4. Worst of all: ESPN. Tonight's Cubs game is supposed to be on ESPN2. They've been running ads for it all day. After the St. Louis-Atlanta game ended, the announcers said, "Coming up next...Chicago and Los Angeles." Then they went to the next game, and it was Cincinnati and San Diego. Is there ANYONE AT ALL in Chicago who cares in the least about that game? I can see showing off the new stadium in San Diego, but the Cubs are going to be playing there the day after tomorrow. Come on. You don't want to show the game? Fine. Then DON'T PROMISE TO DO SO - LET WGN OR FOX SPORTS NET SHOW IT!

Sorry. I'm just upset because, what with modern medical care and "ethics," natural selection has come to a halt. On top of that, those of us with brains in our heads are waiting longer to have kids and having fewer of them, while the idiots are breeding themselves senseless. The human race, as a result, is regressing. I'll stop short of recommending eugenics as a solution, but I won't shed any tears for anyone of less than average intelligence or work ethic who dies, particularly if he suffers a bit first.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Well, that was better...

Cubs started slow, but Clement tossed a great game, we got some timely hitting from guys who should be hitting, and Borowski scared the hell out of everyone but got the save anyway. This game was played to last season's formula, and while it wasn't pretty, it was successful.

What about the weather, though? Throughout the game, which was played in the rain the entire way and wasn't delayed or postponed even with the deluge that started in about the sixth inning and continued pretty much the rest of the way, all I could think of was last year's Cubs-Cards game at Wrigley that was called after four innings. Luckily, no one was injured this time (like Eli Marrero was last year). Still, the game should have been called after five or (at most) six innings. By the ninth, there were huge puddles in the dirt along the first and third base lines, and you couldn't even see home plate on TV because of all the mud around (and on) it. Michael Barrett slipped badly once at third and came out without an injury but easily could have pulled a groin muscle or hamstring (or worse). He also got picked off at second when he slipped in the mud after taking a lead off the bag.

In other news, former White Sox player Jeff Liefer, now playing for the Indianapolis Indians, got stuck in the dugout bathroom during a game Thursday night, delaying the game for 20 minutes while maintenance workers passed him the tools he needed to remove the handle from the bathroom door. With luck like that, Milwaukee is probably having second thoughts about whether Liefer is their first baseman of the future.

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